Communication

Jude is two months old, and Mama Frog and zendaddy are both wrapped up in the joy of talking to Jude. It is a joyous experience because he has begun to talk back.


A few days ago the wee dive ninja spoke his first word (or so we were told by his godmum Grace when we came back from a day of Rescue Diver training in Kenting). He was surrounded by Chinese-speaking friends and loved ones, and was apparently asked the question "你好嗎？", to which he replied (with gusto) "好". Now in English this sounds like "Ni hao ma?" (meaning "How are you?") and "Hao". The Chinese word "hao" (3rd tone) is one of the most simple and fundamental in the language. It means "good", and the character is composed of two separate parts which mean 'woman' and 'son' respectively. It is an interesting anthropological note that in Chinese culture the concept of goodness is represented by the association of a mother and child. Jackie Chan used the word as a transliterative pun to a native American in the movie "Shanghai Noon".


Now, zendaddy delights in evidence of his progeny's brilliance (and there is of course plenty of it - see how efficiently the boy eructates) yet this story seemed somehow...spurious (which is a good word for Judo). Firstly, he has surely not had the time to develop skills of linguistic differentiation, let alone pronunciation, and secondly, Chinese sounds like baby talk anyway, with its long breathy vowels, indistinct consonants and high-pitched tonal variations. It's the easiest thing in the world for an infant to sound like he is babbling in Mandarin.


Really I'm just jealous. Of course he would start talking with other people, in a foreign language.


Nelle and I are having the most wonderful time having conversations with him now. When the moment is right (he is clean and not hungry, awake just right and all the rest) we sit and have conversations with him for minutes on end. He recognises you and has a smile that splits his face.





His eyes light up with joy and wondrous, simple laughing delight. That's what it is - delight. Judo is DELIGHTED to see you, and truer words were never spoke. His grin spreads right across his jowly face.

So we spend long moments in our days with these conversations, which come more easily all the time. He loves his mother's laugh, and will stop everything when he hears it anew. He loves to have his chin stroked; that makes him smile. He takes a special pleasure in delicate stroking of his head, by the zendaddy. He loves music, and is intrigued by the tribal masks that adorn our kitchen walls.

Jude smiles a lot now, and will talk to you, as long as you don't patronise him too much. He will mimic sounds you make and offer his own. We are figuring out which sound means what, but already we recognise how fierce and busy is his mind.

We're falling in love with the little bastard.

So here are two brief and unedited videos. In a few hours we must fly to Taipei to endevour to arrange the lad's legal citizenship of two nation states. Thus no fancy titles and soundtrack.

At home with masks, November 22nd 2006:



Talking with Mama Frog, November 16th 2006:



Much love to you all from the zendaddy.

When we were young

Mama Frog and the Wee Dive Ninja / Mister Squirmy-Wormy / Rastace / Buddy / Judo T

Zendaddy had a mail from his lovely and wondrous mum just now.

Billie wrote:

"Today I went into the city to hand in my retirement papers to the superannuation people and at Town Hall a whole lot of young Grammar boys got on - probably year 7 or 8 and my mind wandered back. I watched some of them gather around a big photo of the year, laughing probably at teachers, a few of them read the give away afternoon newspaper - straight to the puzzle they went, one fell over his bag, another plugged his MP3 into his ear. I couldn't take my eyes off them. Young, clear, faced, intelligent, happy. Suddenly it was Wynyard and all the people were getting on. I jumped up with a start, jerked back into the present."

So here is some of what I replied:

"I haven't been online much in the last few days since my home computer got a bug. I think it's OK now, although I'm not sure. Just spent the night with the boy while Nelle went to her Chinese class and then to dance with Jodi at the Space. So him and me for hours and...it goes ok. He's been in a bit of a 6-8 week funk of late (the 'arsenic hour' i've seen it named) where he might scream for no apparent reason for an hour or so; but we're getting it settled. His problem spending time with me for long periods is that when he suddenly wakes and wants food he WANTS IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! and zendaddy must endeavour to teach the lesson of patience (it's getting warm, nearly there, breathe and relax son, you must learn patience...it's warmer, hang on....) while the milk heats to drinkable temperatures.

And isn't that the thing about time, and the past? For Judo, a few minutes is a significant proportion of his life-to-date. The more time we have, the older we become, the more our perception of experience stretches and lengthens, deepening into what one historian called durée. So those school boys who take you back (and me also) to a moment 22 years ago (when I was one of them) are so alive and beautiful because they live a qualitatively different life. Their experience of every moment is more immediate, more vivid, more present, since an hour to them holds a degree of significance discommensurate with that of their grandparents, to whom the same measure of time may be a trifle.

What do you think?"

Jude is easy to adore. He teaches us the lesson that while patience is learnēd virtue, there is more significant consideration; that love is the first power, the ultimate motivation.

Today I have remembered Camberwell Heights (a house a home I shared with friends James, Rogan and Liz in Wilson Street), my school and its people, a girl I loved in Taiwan and Australia, funnel web spiders and the call of currawongs, Rodney Knock's tie collection, the Prophet, XF Falcons, Donkey Kong and some of the things I should have done yesterday.

(I would have included Star Trek but that occurs to me every day.)

Patience, and love.

The little boy ("He's ours, not yours!" cried Mama Frog so rightly) enforces the lesson of love.

When the cry goes up, the heart strings tug hard.

Zendaddy also remembered today how much he is grateful to the two people who made him. Grateful for the gift of life, for the opportunity of experience. He hopes Judo will feel the same.

Much love to you all, from a heart full of love.

a look at the family

Hey there everyone. Just wanted to get a few more pictures up. This were taken in hospital when all of the family members were here. My mom Colleen and sister Amanda came all the way from Canada to see the little babe. It was my mom's first trip out in a really long time. Unfortunately, they didn't get more than two days with him, so I am trying to get my ma and pa (Paul) to come out in March. Good luck getting the farmer to take some time off right? ;) Then again, for the first grandchild in the family, it may happen.

My sis is an intrepid individual though, and she's heading off to Australia in the new year. But even she said she had a good time in ol' T'wan, and Jude of course was happy to meet her.

Here's a pic of Billee with the babe as well. She came all the way from Australia and stayed out here for a few weeks, which was great since I hadn't met her yet either. She is a marvelous lady! Jude is very lucky to have such wonderful grammas! (And snazzy granddads - Paul and Ron,   hip aunts - Chris, Jo, and Caro - and cool uncles - Patrick and James. He'll have to wait a bit to meet all these though). I am assured that they are all very anxious to meet him. And he is very anxious to meet them too, when he's not hungry, that is!

And here is mama frog with her main little dude. Everyone is so impressed that he is looking so much bigger, and she is very happy to be looking so much smaller!

a message

a few words of wisdom passed on from our dear friend Kam:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Kahlil Gibran

42 days later

As part of zendaddy's continuing mission to explore strange new technological frontiers, and be a little more involved with the people of his world, he offers you this embedded YouTube video link...of Jude Anarion Thomas, bien sur, aged 6 weeks old.

six weeks with me main little dude

Mama Frog's log star date some day early in November, 2006. Getting time to type and share this madness and the wonderous, fantastic joy that is watching and helping our son grow is ridiculously difficult. Not that he is difficult. No colic, or general discomfort, he usually just fusses and uh!s to let me know that something is up. Unless he is hungry - if he doesn't get it soon, then he howls! I am sure there a few better-behaved babies out there, but frankly, we're super lucky. I figured a kid of mine would be a nutcase for sure. Any other parents out there think I have spoken too soon? ;)

If I am lucky he passes out while I am at the computer and as he often wants to pass out in the arms of a parent (these days having breasts that smell like his lunch is key), this means we both win. He is still small enough to pass out and "stick", something like a treefrog, to my chest.



I am a little at a loss what to post on this blog. As it will be used by family for updates, I think it would only be reasonable to use is for progress reports, among other things. And of course, given my candid nature, amusing anecdotes of the three of us growing up together. On the other hand, I am a little concerned that this may be a source of great embarrasment for the boy. All of our stories right now regard the three P's (pee, poo, and puke), which is all cute and funny for us to read about, but what will the young and desperate mind of teenage Jude think when he reads this blog? I imagine a few fits would come from this, no doubt. But then again, my parents (my dad mostly) had no qualms about embarrasing us by telling similar stories to family, friends, strangers in department stores when we got older, and now we fill in the missed details in the telling. He'll just have to suck it up. Figuratively as well as literally, that is. ;)

Speaking of which, I have postponed my life-public and taken on a life-private to make sure the wee guy gets what he needs. Breastfeeding wasn't as strange as I thought it would be, and like I mentioned before, Jude is a natural. Thomas has taken to giving him the nose test - if Jude is hungry and Thomas moves in for an extreme close-up, Jude will lunge for his nose. Or anyone's chest-al area, if you happen to be the one holding him in the crook of your arm at the right time. He spends his time between states of pure placid peacefulness and frantic activity, and one thing he is frantic about is food. He howls for his dinner and when he finally gets to mummy's arms he stops howling and excitedly starts gaping for the breast. If he doesn't find it in his mouth immediately he starts wailing again. I always put a cloth between us as he makes quite a mess in his excitement (we both get drenched), and as soon as he feels it on his cheek, he starts lunging again. When he finally docks to the mothership however, he is calm as a hindu cow.

It's amazing how fast he is growing. He is 5.1kg (11lbs, 3 oz) and nearly 60 cm (23in) long. He has grown these big chubby cheeks and very strong legs (though they are accursedly short like his mother's) - even the doctor commented on this. He has a little whiteman's no-butt and he is losing his hair. You may have noticed from the pictures that he was actually born with some and it was a bit reddish at that. He has since begun losing it. He currently has JLP (Jean-Luc Picard) hair, and is slowly losing that. He does have a little cap of white-blonde fuzz though. As both his parents prefer to be clean-shaven, we're not very concerned. He may have other opinions though.


I am a bit saddened that I have already lost a month. All you parents out there will understand. He is six weeks old and what he does and is able to do is different every day. He no longer makes the face that I love. It was a very intense one - his little brow all furrowed, eyes fierce and piercing, his wee lips tight into a small "oooo". Something just about, but not quite like this:






The one I love could burn a hole through concrete!





From birth on he was a big frowner, as you may have noticed from some of the posts Thomas has made. At ten days he was beginning to smile in his sleep; ten days later he would occasionally laugh in his sleep, and in the past two weeks he has begun smiling all the time. He has mastered pooing and eating at the same time (babies subscribe to a constant balance of matter - if something goes in, then something must come out. Anyone need a thesis for a physics paper?). When he was just new it was pure comedy to watch him eat as he would be drinking away and then get this look of pure contemplation on his face(or sometimes a very dazed expression) and one would immediately assume that he was considering the meaning of the universe. Then a loud riiiiipppp! would be heard, signaling the need for a new nappie. He's mastered it now though, no problems at all. Luckily he is not a hurler.

I love watching him sleep. Admittedly deep sleeping is not that interesting - he just lies there, arms open, legs in a psuedo-yoga pose. It's very cute. (Could I use that word more?). In this regard, he sleeps like the dead.

But when he is semi-unconscious, it is wonderful to watch the expressions come to his face and melt away in moments. I would love to know what he is thinking. He'll open his eyes a crack and then maybe give me a half-grin, or a sleepily defiant "I know you are waiting for me to wake up, but I'm not gonna do it!" and drift away again, or roll them back in his head and keep on dreaming.

I wish I had a picture for every face that he makes. There is just too many of them, and the camera flash is too bright. And I can't hold him with a camera in my hand. Admittedly, a bit of the magic has worn off as he has kept me up until 03:00 on more than one occasion. The early hours of the morning has recently become his favourite time to be awake though. He doesn't cry or anything, he just wakes up and wants to talk and hang out at this time. As I am a night owl, this is not a problem until I get a bit run-down, as I am now. But I do my best to entertain this marvelous little dude.

And he is our marvelous little dude. I do selfishly miss all the other things that I was doing before he became more than just a distant idea. It would seem that even now I can't let these things go. But being here and watching him grow and being his #1 human bean these days (I know it won't last) is really worth it. It is entirely unglamourous, but so intensely real and I wish I could burn every single moment to my memory. Ah, but memory is a fickle thing, even for the best of them. In that way maybe it is good that we are here, so far away from our family and many friends as it means we will work harder to keep concrete evidence of the passage of time. As they say, there is no time like the present, and this present, his presence is a present, a gift that I am so blessed to receive.

Well, I must be off for now - the ramblings must end for today. I will keep at it however, and hope you all enjoy these random mumblings and that they find you well. Great hugs from the three of us on asian island. Mama Frog signing off.

Infant Joy

"I have no name;
I am but two days old."
What shall I call thee?
"I happy am,
Joy is my name."
Sweet joy befall thee!

Pretty joy!
Sweet joy, but two days old.
Sweet Joy I call thee:
Thou dost smile,
I sing the while;
Sweet joy befall thee!

- William Blake

Friends of Jude

Hey Jude!

(How long before he gets wearly of that, eh?)

This is an email zendaddy received from a beautiful lady - Wu Pei Ling. She is quite clearly a hippy, but that's OK.


Dear Jude,

You are born into a world of little microspheres of unidentified wishes and blessings...
The good news is, each and every one of them is up for grabs! Just don't forget to get your little fingers ready to poke, and burst, them.

In this big big Universe, there is more than the stars that shine at night and the birds that chirp in the morning. I hope you recognize that the little microcosm which you live in, is one that is saturated with happiness, honour, praise, peace, and good karma.

It took courage for your parents to bring you into this world. And I wish upon you, the same courage to live your life to the fullest. The courage to get lost, then find your way; the courage to fall, then stand up tall again; and most important of all, the courage to love yourself, and the others around you.

With love,

Pei Ling



Jude has a lot of people around him, most of whom seem to think he's awfully cute. So here are some images of the Friends of Jude.



Godmum loves him:


Gorgeous Caila approves:



Mia the dancer smiles with him:

Jodi is Jude's wonderful namesake, and she thinks he's all right.



And try as he might, zendaddy cannot get Blogger to accept anymore uploads. So other FoJ will be appearing in the future.

Shanti