Chronicles of a Dive Ninja in training: March 2007

Hey all, mammafrog here. Hope you enjoyed the last two - took ages to put on I tell ya! I WILL add the appropriate pictures to them as well, it's just a matter of time, so if you check this site, keep checking them as well.

Now, admittedly this has NOTHING to do with the wee dude directly but something that those of you who used to enjoy my lengthy emails about the nature of living in Taiwan as a foreigner. Here is a little anecdote about me trying to get fingerprints taken for my Canada criminal records check, something I need to get my permanent visa to Oz. I had already done this once, and finally, four months later, I got the result...which was that they couldn't process it due to the fact the the prints were of bad quality. So they (our wonderful R.C.M.P., who don't respond to emails I might add!) sent me the form so I could try again, which happened to be badly damaged in transit and thus probably impossible to use. But what can you do? Write back and wait for another to come all mashed in the mail again? Hell no!
So, a few weeks ago, I tried again.

I went to get my fingerprints done at the police station on Jungjeng road, as that's where I got them done the first time. This also used to have the Foreign Affairs bureau in the same building but early in 2007 the office moved a block away. The officer at the door sent me to the foreign affairs, now on Chenggong road, office on the 7th floor. The people at this office sent me to the 1st floor. The people on the first floor sent me to the 2nd floor. The people on the second floor sent me back to the police station. The people at the police station insisted that I go to the foreign affairs office but when I assured them that I had already been there and they sent me back, this officer sent me to another office. That officer sent me to the old office and the people at the old office gave me an address to another building on Liohe road.

So yesterday I went down to this office. They told me that they couldn't do it there, that I had to go back to foriegn affairs and get a computer scan done. As I was afraid that this would not suffice as the RCMP in Canada provided me with a sheet, I asked that both the computer scan and the physical fingerprinting could be done. After 10 minutes of conversation, and this guy telling me they couldn't get a police officer to take my fingerprints because they don't do it like that in Taiwan, and having a good laugh with me about all the fun I have been having trying to get this done, he called the foreign affairs office to see if they could do it. So I went back to the foreign affairs office and after 30 minutes of this particular customs officer talking to his supervisor they decided that I could actually do both. He took me down to the first floor again, to the third window where they did a computer scan. Unfortunately my hands are too dry and wrinkly so the scan was only 25% readable. (Which is why to first one didn't work). They did another scan to the same result, and then that customs officer took two sets of physical prints, so hopefully that and a detailed note explaining my "condition" will have a positive result. Otherwise I guess I will just have to wait until I go home in the summer. The whole ordeal only took up about three hours of my time. Should count myself lucky I guess.

And now we turn to the wee Tyrant for an update free from the whinging and distracted ramblings of his parents. As are most things in his life right now, this was a great trip of firsts. And thus far, our little dude keeps on coming out in the green. Let's check the list, shall we?

1. Long flights

Prior to this, Jude had been to Taipei via plane twice and on all four hour-long trips, he slept the entire way. This trip was a double-banger combo of an 1.5 hour flight from Kaohsiung to Hong Kong (easy-peasy says Jude!) and an 8 hour flight from Hong Kong to Sydney (well, let's not count the chickens, eh?). How did he fare, you ask? Well, as afore-mentioned, the way to wasn't the best, but made it with no major trama, so score 2 points for the short one and 4 points for the long one. The long one on the way back was a sweet dream of smiles and camaraderie (with scores of people queuing up for cuddles), score 8 points of happiness; but the last hour and a half was hell on a plane (screaming all the way, ha ha ha), so minus 6 points. Final flight score: 8 points. Not bad at all, and certainly better than a lot of babies I've met on planes, let me tell you!

2. Long Car Rides
This is the very first long car ride (the only other one so far was a measly two hour and back to Kenting for the New Year, so it doesn't even BEGIN to compare with Sydney to Canberra to Melbourne back to Ulladulla back to Sydney.)

That was a total of approximately 30 hours in a car seat facing the rear windscreen with nothing really doin' except maybe some lame-ass conversation with his exhausted mom for a LONG TIME. In all honesty, the judge has no idea how to score this one, so considering that all three of the contestants made it out of the car alive and relatively sane, we'll score the little guy slightly over half a point an hour - Car ride total: 20 points.

3. Sleeping in Strange Beds that are Way Too Small for Him and His Two Parents
The contestant Jude and his parents changed houses 10 times, and while in most of the places there was an entire spare room at their disposal, they were often too small for three people. It doesn't matter that one of the people is a 9kg baby. (Can you believe the little punk is 9kg already?) We are not still in college. There was even an air mattress in a living room. A comfy air mattress, but an air mattress no less. Considering that he actually slept through the whole night AND developed more of a sleeping pattern than was ever arranged for him by his dozy mother, he scores a point and a half for every house - and then rounded up to 16 points.

4. Public Presentation
Now admittedly wee-ish Jude meets a lot of people on a weekly basis, and is much more interested in people than things, so this really wasn't a stretch.

However, he met nearly four score and ten new lovely souls, not to mention strangers in parks, malls, pubs; on buses, boats and planes; in circumstances well out of his control or understanding, with hundreds of new variables to account for in every waking hour of the day AND remained a perfect picture of congeniality and baby charm. Score 1 point for every 5 people - 18 points.

5. General Achievements
a)Sitting up by himself at 4.5 months old - 5 points

b)Swimming in the ocean - 9 points for three good experiences, 5 poi

nts for getting dunked under the water and NOT crying, in fact being pretty darn cool about the whole thing; minus 3 points for tripping out a wee bit in the surf (a diver, not a surfer perhaps?) Wait, then again, who takes their five month old baby into the surf anyway? (I blame the Australians!)

c)Being able to put his feet in his own mouth - yogis say 5 points

d)Blowing raspberries on other people - 2 points for cuteness

e)Theatre appreciation - minus 5 points as he slept through them or bawled. (Give the guy a break, he's only five months old!)

f) Developing a fierce interest in what everyone else is eating - (Mamafrog says 50 points!) 5 points

g)Honing his grabbing skills - 5 points (Mamafrog says she's missing a bunch of hair in the back )- minus 2 points

h)Outstanding interaction with Australian Fauna - 5 points.

(Good thing Zendaddy kept him out of reach for the poor little rosellas, and almost within reach of the roos!)

Grand Total: da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
88 points! HUZZAH FOR THE WEE DIVE NINJA!!!!!!!

Though, as we didn't set a pass mark, he wins and wins again! This is the result of modern approaches to assessment. A bit mamby-pamby I know, but don't worry, it won't all be praise and fanfare. All in all, the wee dude did very well and we look forward to our next major voyage. Here are some more photos of the wee ninja in action!