a blend of lives past and present

Hey there me lovelies. I am here to counter the monopoly that zendaddy has placed over this blog. Just joking. I am often very impressed that he has the presence of mind to be so eloquent. I have a difficult time putting up that front however, as you see, my brain is mush. And if you can imagine, I have been quite busy.

We were out of town for the better part of last week - first down to Kenting to do a Rescue Diving course in which I was re-initiated to the Great Blue - oh how I missed her! A little sad that I couldn't have spent the time with the fish (all four of them) instead of hauling our buddy, playing dead, back across a choppy surface, rescue breathing all the way, and then dragging him out of the water. What a workout! Good skills to have though and man do I hope I never have to use them! I am also very excited to spend my next and 100th dive with some of the life aquatic.


Leaving the boy for two full day slots was ok. Grace had him and thus there was nothing to worry about. He has also recognized her as a secondary care giver and in some ways he treats her better than me! Then again, she hasn't watched him in the later evening/early morning when he is MUCH more demanding. But soon enough well will send him over there for entire weekends I am sure. Thomas thinks I am reluctant to do this, and in some ways he is right. I have a hard time imagining my little guy sharing laughs with someone else! Even howling for someone to feed him - I'm coming honey!

But on the other hand I am more anxious to do so than he can imagine. Every single activity (including bodily maintenance) in my life has been drastically altered in ways that he can't even imagine. I take three minute showers, eat meals in under ten, sometimes five. I type leaning back with a baby stuck to my chest, held in place by a partially raised leg and my elbows. I have never been much of a girly girl thankfully, so the time to get ready for outings hasn't really changed that much. However, I do like to be presentable in the very least and more often than not I leave the house these days something like this:


Dawnelle and Jude going down the stairs. Jude looks the perfect image of a hip-hop-happening little babe. Dawnelle is...well, let's just say her clothes match. Dawnelle talking to herself. Or Jude - whoever is listening.
"Ok, he's been fed - check. Clothes are clean - check. Diaper clean - check. Everything (5 nappies, 1 spit rag, wetwipes, 2 thin blankets, a change (or two) of clothes, plastic bags, rash cream, pacifier, bottle of water), in the diaper bag - check. Got keys - check."
Dawnelle and Jude arrive at the first floor of the house.
"No wait, on the table up stairs."
Dawnelle and Jude go back up to the third floor.
"Wallet - check. Money - no."
Dawnelle and Jude go up the the fourth floor.
"Money - check. Okay baby, let's go!"
Dawnelle and Jude get down to the first floor.
"Jude's hat? In his room."
Dawnelle and Jude go back up to the fourth floor. Dawnelle puts hat on Jude's hat. They go back down to the first floor. They walk out the door (well, Dawnelle does. Jude's in the snugli). Half way down the street Dawnelle realizes that she hasn't combed her hair. She hesitates. She thinks better of it and continues on their way. A bedhead works better with the slobber on her shoulder anyway.


And it will be some time before the wee boy effects him in the same way. If only I can remember to be patient. With Thomas and myself that is. With the boy it is relatively easy - Thank goodness!


If you looked at the blog then you know we also went to Taipei. It went quite well although a totally different bag not having a homebase to plug into at the end of the day. We had our first poo-eruption experience, but thankfully it was when we got back to the hotel and Jude had his first shower as a result. (Don't worry, we bathe him regularly. ;) ) I enjoyed Taipei as well. I really have never really cared about that city either way, but this visit left me a bit nostalgic for more metro-cities back home. Don't get me wrong, the country is always better, but if one has to live in the city... Kaohsiung is alright. I guess I just miss a city with bookshops in which I can read at least 50% of the books in them and a street with cafes featuring ethnically diverse food and parks and whatnot. Kaohsiung has these, they are just scattered all over the city.

And now, more of the same. I find getting the boy into a schedule nearly impossible for two reasons: a) a baby does not run on any kind of schedule comprehensible to an adult and b) now that I am unemployed I have no schedule. I know most people function better with some sort of a routine, but for maximum productivity, I NEED one. Otherwise all the days just blur together. Ah, but where to begin?


I have taken my reading class back from Thomas (to his relief as well). We just finished Dahl's Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator and what a blast that was! These particular students are fairly fluent and although I have to explain a fair bit of the puns and jokes to them, it is worth my time to do so because they will understand after I do so. I can't wait until Jude is reading age! Then again, he will probably be a movie kid knowing my luck.


I am also going back to teaching Kung Fu to the kids, and even doing some training of my own soon. Wow, it's been so long. I had a great time with the KF kids today but it is obvious we will all need to do some reviewing. I will start taking a session or two a week now as well. Will be good to start kickin some ass again!


I have started doing a bit of stretching on my own and it's slightly disheartening, but not as bad as I thought. I have so far lost 16 of the 23kgs I gained - only 7 more to go! I have a belly still, a long time before I get my abs back, I know, but I can still do a lot of the twisty bendy stuff I was into before. Not circus-style mind you, but not too bad. Unfortunately a lot of the freaky stuff focused on lower back, abdomen flexibility and as you can guess, I am a little tentative about stretchin the ol' mid-section. But soon. I have started belly dancing again and have one post-pardum performance under my belt. And I have been working on performance pieces with my dance partner, the other teacher and bestest buddy Jodi. Hopefully we can get it together for the recital on December 16th. I may even get to leave the baby at home with his dad and go for some drinks with me friends - YAHOO!


Ah yes, the boy. Haven't talked about him yet. He is such an attention magnet. He and I approach a table of hip, happening young, childless adults and all conversation stops and turns to him. I am used to getting attention, just not indirectly. I can't help but think that I am missing some groundbreaking ideas from hitting the airwaves, or impeding people from sharing them as no one can concentrate when a baby is around. I find it strange to be on this end of it as i have never been a baby person myself. Not that I didn't spend a lot of time with kids; as the eldest in my family (immediate and extended on my mother's side) I have spent a lot of time taking care of, entertaining and being responsible for children. Maybe I could therefore be taking that sort of exposure for granted. As an "adult" I haven't really spent that much of my free time with kids, and as a teacher, on off hours I avoid them like the plague. Okay, not that vehemently but you can guess what I mean.


But this one is a conversation stopper to the world at large, as all babies are I am told. He is becoming more and more conversational as time goes on and as zendaddy said, it gives us great joy to see him smile and gurgle with him. I always swore I would never baby talk my kids, but as it turns out there are practical reasons to do so. That's what they hear the easiest and that's what they can say - imagine! - and so I have decided to get on the Guhgugroo Train. It is well worth it.


Jude is now two months and a week old - today actually, and we had our second visit to the doc yesterday. For all those interested, he is 6.7kgs (14lbs 11oz) and he is 60.5cm (23in) long. His eyes are a dark blue-ish grey with light blue rings in the center. He is slowly getting hair on the top that looks white blonde in sunlight and a bit darker otherwise. No teeth yet (mum's nipples rejoice!). He is very good at meeting people and is rarely fussy when we are out. It is only at home when he is so. But not after midnight, oh no, after midnight he is happy as a clam and lookin for some chat time. The beginnings of a social butterfly.... or a bar fly?


Unfortunately we haven't seen that much of our big dude in the past two months as he has been working very hard on their current theatre production. But he has definitely made his presence known in the past two weeks and it is wonderful to share this experience with him. And although I get insanely jealous of him leading the life we used to share out there, he is also making it possible for me to be here with our little dude and working very hard to do so. He absolutely adores the little guy and has already started teaching him bad habits, along with a few good ones. He is getting into this fatherhood thing more and more all the time, which relieves me of a bit of responsibility. There is nothing I like more than watching some movies with my gentlemen or watching Thomas speak with Jude - it brings tears to my eyes. And we wouldn't want the kid turning into too much of a mamma's boy now would we? ;)

The past few years have definitely altered my awareness of time, but nothing like having a baby. These past two months have vanished in a breath and yet it seems that I have left a lifetime somewhere off in the distance that I can vaguely glimpse with hand-shaded gaze, and the wind has long since blown dust over my tracks. Wild. Could it be the hormones? This new identity is a hard one to wear as well. It's like someone has gone into my closet, taken bits and pieces of my favourite items out, filled in the gaps with equally cool bits, but not necessarily stuff I have ever seen before and I am left to mix and match.* I accept that I am Mother and yet I don't feel any different. I mourn the loss of my freedom and individuality and yet I hesitate to hand the babe over. I am excited by the prospect of having a little sidekick and yet completely overwhelmed by the responsibility. I am in total control and yet at an utter loss. I am infinitely bitter and yet abounding with joy. I am a bar of semisweet chocolate that's been nibbled on, the rest of it waiting in the refrigerator for the light to come on again. Whatever.

Anyway, I really must be off. I have used up my JUDE'S PASSED OUT ON THE COUCH. YOU HAVE 20 FREE MINUTES card and now have to get something to eat with a baby strapped to my chest. Will probably be something cold for supper. That's ok though - who in the whole world would I rather spend my Saturday evening with? No one I know is half as charming, disarming, or handsome as our little Jude. Sorry zendaddy, take a number. ;)

mamafrog signing off for today. big smooches from me and the little dude. xxx

* I was looking in my closet for something suitable to wear the other day and I thought of this analogy I included in this post. Funny thing is that I went into my closet and took out bits and pieces that didn't fit. Literally AND figuratively that is. ;)